TriIndy

     I finally completed my olympic triathlon. Despite not believing in myself until the actual minute I jumped in the water, I did it.

Am I speedy? Nope. But I beat my goal of 3:20.

     This race was super emotional for me. While I realize that tons of people do full Ironmans and 70.3's with the amount of training that I did for an Olympic, I'm choosing to be proud of myself and enjoy the completion of this goal. My speed is a huge shame trigger for me. Why? I have no idea. But I constantly feel like I should be quicker for my age and training. But I'm not, and somewhere around mile 4 of the run, I finally realized that it's ok that I don't run 8' miles. I choose to do this. I choose to do triathlon because it brings me joy. Because the training keeps me sane. Because being in nature brings me closer to God. Because swimming brings me peace. Because biking makes me braver. Because running makes me more disciplined.
    

The Swim: The water was cold-like actually wetsuit legal. The temp was alarming at first, but it made for a great long swim, and I was able to finish without a HR of 5,000. I was quickly able to get into a rhythm...until my watch started to buzz. Like an idiot, I forgot to turn off my Bluetooth...and as Jordan started to get closer to me, my watch started to connect and disconnect to my phone like crazy. It. Was. Awful. At one point I tried to wave him away, but then felt terrible, realizing he had no idea what was going on. Besides that, I really couldn't have asked for a better swim.

The Bike: I knew from last year that the bike course is fast, but super bumpy. I remembered seeing all of the scattered water bottles along the sides of the road, and since I had worked so hard to learn how to drink and ride, I locked down my cage even tighter than usual. Fail. By mile 3 I hit a man hole while going around a curve...while being passed, and my bottle shot off like a rocket. Fail. Luckily, I'm not used to drinking that much water anyway, so not a huge deal.

     The first lap went pretty quickly, and after remembering how flat it was, I knew I could step it up on the second lap. I finished the bike in 1'25". T2 was super quick, and I was so excited to finish the run.



The Run: After a smooth T2, there was a feeling of relief that all I had to do was finish 6 miles. Even if I had to walk it, I could do 6 miles, no problem. Pretty quickly into the run, I saw Sandy which was fun. Knowing people on the race course is the best. 2 miles in, I felt great and was super relieved. Beyond the relief, I started to realize that I was prepared and able...and should have trusted Dani long ago when she said I was ready for this race.

   I know I sound like a broken record when I constantly talk about how my patients and my job as an oncology nurse constantly grounds me, but it's true. The days preceding the race, I took care of several patients under the age of 50 who all have bad disease and have had to sacrifice parts of their life due to their cancer-mainly their physical selves. When I was feeling sorry for myself or got in a bad head space on the run, my thoughts were instantly filled with, "You may not be fast, but you're healthy and so blessed. Be grateful. You get to choose this. You are so so lucky." And I am. The longer I thought about it, the more emotional I got. And that mantra made the last two miles, which could have been very painful, a really joyful experience.

I like to think the girl just chilling in the background did the sprint....

I was just a little happy to reach the finish line.

Jordan. This guy. From 4:30am to the end of the race, he took care of me, cheered for me, timed me, took pictures, and did everything he could to make me feel supported. He is the best, and I'm the luckiest.