This happens every year during the final part of the semester-life gets real, and it requires more effort to enjoy. Don't get me wrong, we have a ridiculously easy life and very little "real" stress. But about 4-5 weeks from the end of the semester, the tests get harder, the load becomes heavier, work days become closer together, and the stress builds. All of this makes tempers shorter, nerves higher, and filters go away. Marriage is beautiful in that we get to care for each other and help lighten the load for each other, but we need a vacation. We need some time away from test grades, preceptors, and anxiety. I. Am. So. Ready. By late December it will all get better and we will buckle down for one more semester on the grad school journey. It's close. I can feel it. Until then, we will stay calm and enjoy the moments of sweetness and joy that are scattered amongst the crazy.
Not-so-baby Ellie: Ellie is growing(surprise, surprise.) Last week on my day off, I was able to spend some much needed time with Abby and Baby Ellie. At the end of the day, I took Ellie for a long walk around their subdivision so that Abby could have some alone time. The funniest part was that at exactly 5:30, Ellie started to cry for no reason at all...I soon found out that 5:30 was dinner time, and she is serious about her schedule. So. Funny.
Real Friendship: Ugh. Heart strings. It's probably hormones and stress...and lack of carbs, but the feelings of "growing up" and "real friendship" have been so real lately. Having "jabber" aka our health network's IM system has allowed me and Dani to have real conversations about tough and crazy parts of our lives. I'm so thankful for it. There's a feeling that comes when you realize you can tell someone something serious, and you know they won't run or not respond, that's a good feeling. Life is tough, and I'm so thankful to have found people to share it with. ....segway....Dani's bff, Nick, came to visit her last weekend. Dani invited us to go to dinner with them right after Nick arrived. It was so fun to get to know someone who knows Dani so well. To hear his stories and know that he is such a great friend to her comforting. Now I can believe all of the great things Dani says about him! Dinner at Taxman was delicious, and made me so thankful for the people in my life.
My Grandpa: This week marked two years of my grandpa being gone. It brings tears to my eyes just to think about it. Timehop brought up the link to his obituary, which I started reading at my desk, and I ended up crying heavier than what was appropriate for work. The next day, my dad sent me this photo of the "super moon" from their farm where he been hunting. This photo makes me cry if I look at it too long. It brings back so many memories, smells, tastes, and sounds. I usually "hated" going up to my grandparents on a Sunday afternoon. I thought it was a waste of time, because we never really "did" anything except for walk around the farm, eat dinner, and take a walk. Now, I long for those afternoons. I can see my grandparents coming up the stairs from the basement with a can of their green beans from the summer, thawing out the frozen sweet corn. I can feel the glider my grandma always sat in the kitchen, and can hear the Lawrence Welk show on TV. I can even distinctly remember how I thought I was so sly getting a frozen twinkie out of the freezer after dinner, and taking it to the bathroom to eat it because my mom wouldn't let us have them. Yep, everyone knew. This one picture brought back all of those memories in a flood. I am so so so grateful for those days.
My Patients: Work has been tough lately. With Katie leaving, it has thrown off a "balance" for me. In the midst of the craziness, my patient's never cease to bring my joy or a smile. This patient in particular made a fake tattoo of Dr. A's face and placed it right on his bicep for his last chemo. The look on Dr. A's face was priceless. Even looking at the photo now brings me happiness. Our patient's are the best.
Sending love your way! ...we need to do lunch!
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